Getting Promoted Did Not Make Me a Leader
Getting Promoted Did Not Make Me a Leader
The Moment I Realised Leadership Was Not About Titles
This wasn't the only time I made a fool of myself as a young leader.
But it was probably the first time I understood that leadership was going to be far more complicated than I expected.
And honestly, I never saw it coming.
“Leadership was going to be far more complicated than I expected.”
I Thought the Hard Part Was Getting Promoted
Early in my career, I was promoted into leadership because I was good at my job.
At the time, that felt like enough.
I was young, driven and confident in my ability.
• I worked hard
• I cared
• I had energy
• I genuinely wanted people to succeed
And I set very high standards at work.
That was a big part of why I stood out and progressed quickly.
So naturally, I assumed it would translate into being a good leader.
It did not.
What I didn't realise then is that high performance and leadership capability are two completely different things - and a promotion doesn't bridge that gap automatically.
And honestly, I never saw it coming.
“High performance and leadership capability are two completely different things - and a promotion doesn't bridge that gap automatically.”
Suddenly I had a team of around 20 people reporting to me.
I thought I would set the direction, motivate the team and everyone would respond positively.
That was not what happened.
How I Managed to Embarrass Myself and Someone Else at the Same Time
I still remember one of my first attempts at giving the team a motivational talk.
In my head, it was going to be inspiring.
• Positive
• Energetic
• Visionary
I genuinely expected the team to think this was amazing.
Instead, I was met with silence.
Not hostile silence.
Just awkward silence.
Everyone stared politely, waiting for it to finish so they could get back to work.
Then, to make the moment even more memorable, I decided to personalise the talk by naming each department manager and calling out something great they'd recently achieved.
It felt powerful in my head.
I got to the last name on the list - and instantly realised they hadn't achieved anything worth mentioning.
And I'd basically just broadcast that to the entire room.
An absolute masterclass in what not to do!
My intention was good. My execution was poor. And it taught me very quickly that motivating people requires far more awareness - of the individual, not just the message.
“Motivating people requires far more awareness - of the individual, not just the message.”
The silence that followed wasn't confusing.
It was mortifying.
Leadership Is About Them, Not You
One of the biggest mistakes I made early on was assuming communication was simple.
I thought I could say the same thing to everyone and they would all interpret it the same way.
• Some people responded well
• Some did not
• Some needed context
• Some needed encouragement
• Some wanted structure
• Some wanted to be left alone to get on with it
It slowly became obvious that leadership wasn't just about delivering a message - it was about understanding the person receiving it.
• Different personalities
• Different motivations
• Different communication styles
• Different ways of processing pressure and feedback
I didn't have the language for it at the time, but what I was slowly bumping into was emotional intelligence.
Not as a theory.
As the lived experience of getting people wrong, repeatedly, until you start getting them right.
Because up until that point, I had viewed leadership as something closer to directing. What I eventually learned was that leadership is far closer to noticing, listening, adapting and responding to people as individuals.
“Leadership is far closer to noticing, listening, adapting and responding to people as individuals.”
I Also Tried Being the Strict Boss for a Week
Another thing I struggled with early on was the tension between simply being myself and suddenly becoming "the boss."
Some of the people I was now leading had previously been peers.
• Some were older than me
• Some had more life experience
• Some were probably unsure why this younger person was now leading them
Honestly, sometimes I was unsure too.
At one point I decided the best approach was to be strict. Authoritative. No-nonsense.
It lasted about four days.
Even I didn't enjoy working for me.
Other times I avoided difficult conversations altogether.
Like many young leaders, I was trying to work it out in real time while doing my best to appear like I already knew what I was doing.
Looking back now, I realise how common that actually is.
“Like many young leaders, I was trying to work it out in real time while pretending I already knew what I was doing.”
It Took Much Longer Than I Expected
What surprised me most was how long leadership took to actually understand.
Not months.
Years.
And it's not that I was a bad leader during that time.
I was a good person who genuinely cared.
I worked hard, supported my team, celebrated their wins and wanted them to succeed.
But even with the right intentions, there were still countless moments where I walked away from conversations thinking:
"That did not go how I expected."
Slowly though, patterns started emerging.
I realised leadership was not about controlling people.
• It was not about the title
• Or hierarchy
• Or trying to sound impressive
It was about understanding:
• When to push and when to step back
• When to listen and when to act
• When to coach and when to simply get out of the way
And most importantly - that leadership is never really about you.
“Leadership is never really about you.”
There Is No Single Leadership Personality
Over time, I also came to understand that there is no single leadership type.
• Some leaders are naturally charismatic and energetic
• Some are calm and quietly influential
And,
• Some lead through communication
• Others through consistency, empathy or trust
What matters most is not trying to become somebody else.
It is developing the ability to understand people, adapt, communicate well and bring out the best in those around you.
In my experience, those are skills that can absolutely be learned and developed over time.
They are not things you either have or you don't.
“What matters most is not trying to become somebody else.”
I Wish I Had Learned the Frameworks Earlier
Looking back, I wish I had undertaken more formal leadership training earlier in my career.
Not because education magically makes someone a leader.
But because leadership frameworks and communication models would have given me something I genuinely did not yet have:
Context.
At the time, I thought positive energy and a strong work ethic would naturally translate into leadership capability.
They did not.
Education helped give structure to things I was already experiencing in real life.
Experience helped bring those concepts to life.
Over time, both became equally important.
Experience and education together became the pathway.
“Experience and education together became the pathway.”
What This Experience Taught Me
• High performance does not automatically prepare you for leadership
• Authority and influence are not the same thing - one is assigned, the other is earned
• Good intentions matter far less if your impact is off
• Communication is never one-size-fits-all as every person needs a different approach
• Emotional intelligence is the skill underneath every other leadership skill
• Experience teaches lessons, but education provides frameworks that help accelerate growth
• The best leaders keep learning long after they receive the title
Final Thoughts
Looking back now, I can still vividly remember the awkward silence after that first motivational speech.
And the feeling of reaching that final name on the list and realising, halfway through the sentence, that I had nothing meaningful to say.
At the time, it was embarrassing.
And honestly, that failure stayed with me for a very long time.
In many ways, it still has.
But looking back now, I realise something important about why that moment affected me so deeply:
I genuinely cared about becoming a good leader.
• Not just the title
• Not just the authority
• Not just the career progression
The responsibility that comes with leading people.
That experience quietly became the beginning of a lifelong process of learning, reflection and improvement.
And the more experience I gained over the years, the more one thing became clear.
Leadership is not about managing people or directing people.
It is about understanding them.
“Leadership is not about managing people or directing people. It is about understanding them.”
That, more than anything, is what leadership actually is.
— Andrew Sisley
CEO & Head Trainer
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